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Ode to Parenthood

Posted by elenahuerta10 on May 20, 2016 at 5:45 PM

This past 24 hours has been about as put together as Phoenix's socks here. It's been the epitome of the stereotypical moments where having a child makes the world seem like it's turning backwards, and you wonder how you are going to make it through.

Between teething and entering the "terrible two" stage of development, I've about wanted to rip my hair out. I found myself wishing on several occasions that Phoenix's father was around to help me. (Of course the reality of this is a whole mess of assumptions. Whether influenced culturally or biologically, I know I presume and expect that just because a father is around means he will actually be of the extent of help that I am looking for.) It really takes a lot for me to have these thoughts. In this case it's an extended several day period of frequent tantrums out of frustration, and then being faced with a night of minimal sleep. This poor little guy is not nearly at fault. He is in a stage where his brain is moving faster than his coordination - as succinctly described by my mother - and several molars coming in at the same time. To keep all of our sanity we've been spending a lot of time outside and strolling around our immediate area.

This morning I had about had it. We woke up and as I tried to get us both back to sleep, I found that every minuscule movement I made resulted in Phoenix's little head popping right up to make sure I hadn't left him. I decided it was a better idea to just get up. I had thought about going for a run, but since I pulled a muscle yesterday decided an Epsom salt/baking soda bath was a better idea. Phoenix played in the water while I soaked. At one point he tried to reach a bath sponge, and slid right over the slippery tub side face first into the water. It was pretty hilarious, I had a hard time not laughing at his startled self! After a while I proceeded to shower and make breakfast to the sound of impatient screams. Who needs music when you have high pitched squeals to listen to?!

I ended up making some gluten free toast with Earth Balance to soothe the screaming beast while I concocted a probiotic green smoothie for us to enjoy. It worked rather well temporarily. He ended up eating two helpings of the smoothie before I cut him off so I could have some!

Before I had the chance to even finish my smoothie he was "asking" to go for a walk. And by asking I mean standing by the stroller and screaming at the top of his lungs. Some day we'll have this whole communication thing down enough to where it won't be so ear piercing. I rushed to get ready and decided that today was a good day to try the Bulletproof Coffee at Clover Juice Bar across the street. It turned out to be okay, but not quite as smooth as I need my coffee to be. My sensitive stomach doesn't handle acidity very well! We came home to doctor it up, and I was still happy because I don't usually put the coconut oil and grass-fed butter in my coffee that the man at Clover had added.

I reflected on this morning as we were walking, and remembered how much we can affect the progression of our days with a simple choice. We can choose to wallow in our anger or sadness, frustration or impatience - or we can decide that we want to feel happy, content, or positive and figure out way to get there. It's not always easy, it's not always possible right away, but it is possible overall. I'm always amazed how a simple assertion that I'm not going to let some minuscule events, that probably won't matter a week or a month from now, can impact how I feel and the course of my future to come. It involves taking a moment to look at things objectively, from a different perspective than the emotional one I feel stuck in. It is, however, one of the greatest blessings I can give myself and my son - the fluidity to let go and choose to live in the present, uninhibited and shed of all the stressful chains life can string upon me. And, as with a lot of things, the more this art of choosing happiness is used the easier it gets to continue to!

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